Shit Just got Real

I had so wished that I should have a family member in states with me. My brother got admitted to a prestigious school and is two weeks apart from landing in states. Thats when you exclaim.

Shit Just got Real!

Last week, I had tremendous feedback for my instagram posts from a known iron chef and few other friends, whom i was not aware, were really interested in my affairs. And so, I exclaim.
                                                                                                                                Shit Just got Real!

A good friend and I were discussing about happenings of our lives and discovered we were on verge of loosing our independence/freedom lifestyle pretty soon.  We had been planning and wanting this change but suddenly making room for a new person (spouse in his case and parent in my case) made us exclaim in unison. 

Shit Just got Real!

Be-Lie-f's- the Maan-Ya-taa!!

I often come across this crap of so called "belief- maanyataa".
Notice the word belief has lie in it???
Maano ya na maano = Maanyataa. (There I said :), not really!)
Ignorance is bliss but going out with half glass full leaves you more dangerous than a pyscho killer.
For once and all, i will like to sort this out.

NB: Thank you Vinati for the blackout trick.

They say, "A way to a Man's heart is through his stomach (good food)"
what they forgot to tell you in 21st century is " In order to bring that good food on table, you will have to earn it "
So, women out there, follow your passion and chase your dreams.
Rolling pin (belan) will roll anyways, there is a reason it is called rolling ;)

They say, "Love marriage has better chance of survival than arrange marriage or vice-verse"
what they forgot to tell you is "Whether you buy clothes from branded shop or local store, the probability of them shrinking or sustaining color will depend on which cycle you choose to load it in washing machine." [Yes, i am comparing marriages with shopping].
Remember, God never created "Branded" man or woman.
If marriages fail, its solely the responsibility of the individuals involved.

They say, "Manglik  person has fierce energy and will bring disputes/conflicts possibly leading to death"
what they forgot to tell you is, Its the drive "for more"(mang = ask)  and if it was so anuaspicious why would our oldies say "mangalmay ho!"
 Let me tell you a secret, a manglik person has unusual sex drive too.  Now, at-least,  i haven't heard or read, a person died due to having sex :)) If you did, let me know. 
Think of color Red, It is associated to Mars (mangal), people may adore it or fear its boldness; so goes for manglik people. Disputes occur because people by default resist change and discomfort.

Its time for new year. So, lets put end to these crappy beliefs and march for fresh start!
 Happy New Year! May you achieve new heights!

Ek chote se Daftaar ki Naukri hain

This morning a friend of mine called me.
Listening to my tone,
He asked:  Why are you not awake at this hour? Aren't you suppose to go to work?
My answer: No. I do not feel like working today.
Him: Sheepish smile.
My take on it: Life goes on.

I have strongly felt this and i have taken due liberty to choose when to go to work or not in recent year or two. Well, most of the days. Who does not love bread :)
The reason could be as silly as its too early to wake up today, its a busy day at work, its a lazy day at work , its raining, its snowing, its sunny, its windy, or my body is soar, etc...
That's a Risky and Crazy idea?
Sure, ya!
Do i advocate it to others ?
Well, Nope.  Walnuts are healthy they advise. Since, you got your walnut sized brain, use it to your advantage.

Being a part of health care unit, we are advised: If you are sick, stay home. Do not make others sick!
So, why not do so when you are mentally sick? Think of it, when you go unhappy to work, you spread that unhappy vibe around you to fellow colleagues in some way or other.  We all get sick of what we are doing after a time, no matter how much passionate you are doing what you do.
And of course its all about me!
So, i take pride to say i have saved the world by not making them sick :))

My reasoning is listen to your inner self sometimes, if your body is not ready, do not push it.
Ya, ya, i know, Will is difficult to exercise and you can push your body in either direction. But Why?
Its okay, to not work and sleep or gaze at sky. You would never know how a busy work day feels like not working if you never say no. A beautiful sunny day or rainy day would just be an expression unless you go and live it.  With our modern pace, we try to exert so much to an extent of keeping ourselves unhappy and others around us unhappy.  I have seen a lot of my friends working those extra hours for few perks at the cost of family time or a good night sleep.  I guess it works for them. I refuse to give in that rat race of making $$$.  Of course, i have the liberty to do so by god's grace and other times i turn off the logical switch of my walnut and choose to be ignorant :)

How often does world stop when you refuse to put that extra effort for that day?
Yes, it would be little stressful for people you work with to do your share, but hell ya! They will suck it up. Just as you do when they do not show up uncalled for.
And if you give me the shit that it would work against your accountability at work, then my friend, I am so sorry. Those people whom you work for or with, do not know your worth and hence, your time and energy are not worth for them. As simple as it is.

A Smile once a while goes a mile.
Toil always brings turmoil.
I often see the phrase coined "That's all it takes"
Nope, its much more than that!
Its a Burning Desire,
Unquestionable Faith,
and An Infectious Comfort,
to Be what It takes!

Sleepless love

No gadjets, no distractions in bedroom- you demand 
And dare I not surrender to thy order. 
Though by now, you have figured , how dearly I wish to surrender myself in your sweet embrace, 
But sure enough like every charming lady,
You prefer the chase.
And of everything you would like to follow 
when they say:dont go to bed mad instead stay up and fight 
Seriously dear, 
Do we really have to go through this every single night? 
Agreed, I have often taken you for granted.
 But all I am asking is to comfort me to weave dreams .
They say you must be in love if you can't fall asleep;
 Do I still need to convince you, Miss sleep how much I love you?

Realities of life

Love completes two people but the best  love songs that touch you were written by someone with broken heart.

Tears of Joy are your eyes way of saying how dearly you love the other person but you can't express them the same.

Welcome Home

Teary Eyes,
Locking lips,
Clasping hands,
Twirling legs,
Uniting Souls

Should I say
Welcome Home?
Though i have always said Hurry (Hari) Home(Om),
But hush, when do you listen?

New Generation- Does it sound familiar?

Have you heard of the phrase,  "You won't get it, its a new generation thing"?
I guess, yes, if you were one of those rebellious teens who thought they knew everything, you might have blabbered it once in your lifetime to your parents, uncles, aunty or  grandparents.
I had so called dejavu experience recently.
A few months ago, my little cousin visited me.
To introduce her, i would say,  she was the one whom i have cradled,  changed diaper and given the sun baths, yada yada. Hope that helps. So, one day, i still remember the time and date this incident took place.
We were at mall, trying to get her a prom dress. And being a one shop person, anxiously, i asked her after visiting the 6th shop, what kind of dress was she exactly looking for? And the response i got, made me bite my nails. It was "Its a new generation thing, you won't get it".
 Don't they say you are never prepared for everything in this life.
Ok, so i was prepared hear this from my forth coming kids or grand kids, but from a cousin who is just 5yr younger to me??? Hell, No!
 My heart stopped beating for that moment and i gave a silent look in the mirror across.
I swear, i felt like sinking in the earth at that moment, but the mirrors around wouldn't let me escape the reality.
 I narrated this incident to my mom over the phone, and i could still hear her giggling over the fact and consoling me saying " You are getting old, my bachaa".


Tip to all who accompany their younger siblings for shopping: Never, ever ask what they want.

Lethargic Heights

Late night research makes Laptop Lunatic to Last-ditch the Labor intensive Logs J

Don't you thinking of LoL-ing it !

ABC Wednesday: L.

Keyboard

Ever wondered :

Why “we” is spelled as W-E instead of V-(E) {as the british would like to spell it}?

How the phrase U and I came into existence?

If I were a mystery or fiction writer who is keen on killing the Kurious Kats, (“the K effect”, btw it’s a good tongue twister, try it) the title of this post would have been: Would the computer geek trust the keys under his fingers or feelings in heart?

Imagine a computer geek thinking of proposing his girl friend and thinking in the typical "she loves me/ loves me not" scenario. But instead of flower, he uses his keyboard. So begins with,
U and I are yada yada yada .....
and due to low self esteem smirks under the pretext of Just kidding
And on seeing the blank look on the girl's face thinks to himself you know what, Never Mind.

Observe the changes as you write these words on your keyboard

You and I (U and I appear on 1^st row of alphabetic keys)

 Just Kidding ((J and K appear on 2^nd row of alphabetic keys)

Never Mind (N and M appear on 3^rd row of alphabetic keys)

If you notice your keyboard, you will find U and I next to each other.   But, right below U & I, you will see JK next to each other ;)  So, ergonomically the U and I is not supported even on keyboard J 

This is how the keyboard responds to a computer geek J and then people blame them for being introvert ;) sigh!!!  Isn’t there a saying “ Don’t count your chick(-ens) before they ^(say)^  ha(-tch)” ,  Just a .^) ;)

Just in case you are one of the people who follows dinner etiquettes for placement, you will be surprised to see the keyboard behaves quite opposite. The regular norm of  the “b” and “d” (where, b refers to bread and d refers to drink) is reversed on keyboard as D comes before B both sequentially and in alignment.  One reason, I mentioned boozing for computer geeks ;) in one of my earlier posts.  My dad taught me knives and wives should be placed on right side, for the boss always wins. 

But the keyboard likes it the other way, observe the alignment of :

-1) letter Wife and Husband J) 

-2)  the symbol for side view .^) baffles me because if “)” is to be considered as side it would be right side view {sadly the keyboard opposes the left wing Democrat ;)}. So, on same context, would the rear side view be represented by ( ^v) ?   But wouldn’t that be upside down just  like our present state in USA?

Did you know, keyboard also favors girl on top position? I meant, notice the placement of GF and BF on keyboard (Dirty minds, ufff!) ;)

PS.1: Due to the abstract nature of this post, you might have to read twice before its makes some sense to you and even after that you don't get it then rem NM :) 
PS.2: the word "up-down ergonomics was coined from my enriched vocab, though individually they have a definite meaning.


ABC Wednesday theme: K

9.11.11

9.11.11

The date capable of bringing mystery, thrill and trembles all by itself. Numbers have always fascinated me. 

Yet, took endless mourning poems, and sadist letters and not to mention the ever zealous media for waking me up to this day, and rewinding myself 10yrs ago. Do you remember where you were on 9.11.2001?

 I was in my 8th grade high school in Gujarat in a history class when we received the news. Around that year of time, we were immuned to havoc like earthquake and floods to the brim that this incident was just a icing on cake. Everyone had weird look on their face, some grinning and some whining. I believe, i was just happy to end the school day earlier than normal. Not that i do not feel the grief of such grave situations but think of it how many die each day, why make such a fuss for one incident? Again the pointless trend of setting monuments in memory of the incident.  Wait a minute, aren't we suppose to forget the bad happenings or keep holding them forever??? And we all know what happens to such monuments down the years, then why? Do we even realize how many people loose their lives in army, navy, airforce, in road accidents, train hustles, trivial fights, temple lines and not to mention religious/political propaganda? 

9.11.11

Coincidentally, it happens to be Anant Chaturdashi today in India. Again major ocassion of pomp and threat. We see newspapers flooded with pictures of idols floating on the sea surface, the dirt of flowers and incense sticks all over. Every year new rules are set by government to prevent the water pollution but aren't we smart enough to bend the rules. Have we considered the nussiance we create on roads due to slow traffic while doing the Nashik dhol dance (its no less than wedding dance), noise pollution due to loud speakers, and hustles of people all over the locality. There are so many who get stumbled due to this every year.  Sadly, no one even comes to know about these. Aren't those people prey of human violence/terrorism too? 

And since we are on numbers. Do you notice 9.11 in the date 9.11.11? 

911 is local access number for police and 011 is international code for dialing in USA.

Didn't i mention the date has mystery in it :) 

Stay safe and blessed people.

Temptation

 Baffled I am as
each and every confection
calls for confession

Correlation

They say "Necessity is mother of inventions" but in recent times with the abundance that we are surrounded, necessity is out of question/answer. In fact, the step sister of Necessity, the Scarcity takes the vital role today.
Very example is the very old and famous Apple. A is for apple! Adam pursued it and we are still behind it, in this age. Sigh! It reminds me of   Raju Srivastav's joke on progression ;))
So again, i related Apple here because question remains the same, do we need those products??? Necessity was left behind the doors ages ago. I bet 7 out of 10 people who possess these apple products donot know the functions of it. Again applies to any new device, not necessarily apple. There is a Gujarati proverb, "Bole aena bor vhechai" ( meaning: one who speaks will sell good).

Recently, I came across this Article barack-obama-is-officially-the-baby-whisperer. Really!!! 

Same is the case when yahoo or other news channels  reports similar Y lead to X crap. Sadly, it is not the case. I was taught in statistics class, correlation is a gimmick used by media to elude people.  But as they say, show some reasoning to dumb assess and even a bummer can be a prince!!!

Coming back to media who misleads the Janta (public) by misusing the correlation statistic;  please, please revise your lessons. I can correlate Govinda and Hrithik's( those are bollywood actors) dance movements but that does not necessarily prove they have the same skill sets and so to say anything in this damn world can be correlated, for "beauty belies in your eyes" ;)

No strings attached- come away with me III

Hi there,
As I mentioned, I have been travelling and relocating to a new place pretty soon. I feel great relief  flowing through my eyes and spine when I return to my abode. As they say nothing feels as great as it feels at home. What is to be at home? Is it the welcome door mat, the pure aroma of spices in kitchen, the laughter in rooms, the flat screen plasma, the murmurs behind the doors, the luxurious bed, the tiny patio facing the sea, that makes you feel at peace? Its the overall effect of being with ourselves and with the surrounding, dear ones that we cherish. A home captures the memories of several "first moments" and sentiments while we take shelter and foster ourselves in it. When life seems gray and haunting we seek solace in our tiny room of home, no matter how big it is, no matter where it is located or how much it costs.

Been six years i have been to the place i am at present. Still it amuses me each time, I feel I have known it. As my life demands progression, I am moving with new set of goals and objectives. Never, until now it occurred to me, how life outside this place would be.  Not, that I never wished to be outside the small town, but feel heavy within to wave it goodbye.  How do you say Goodbye to something you have hold on to be what you are right now?  Is it so easy to loosen those strings attached with you?

Treading mysterious life,

loosening the Strings attached;

Summons other Fall.

As travel is on my mind, I recollect the wording of the song from Metallica .

Blue Eyes

Those Blue eyes and labyrinth of the long curls,

Chase for a life happily ever after,

Beyond a short-term infatuation.

PS: This post is my first attempt on  Haiku

Buzz

IT is the buzz word of the town. 

If i understand right, buzz means an alert, a shout to wake or alert people.

Ironically, once you sink in the Vacuum of IT world, the farther you  wanna get away from it. 

Even though you might scream for space, it would be deciphered by "Google" as Yah(an)- hoo(n).

 Now, since it has managed to get the connection on "CLOUD" and you have already plunged into the deep well, where is the escape button?

 For my IT friends "Singing Up in air, down in the well" say aye ooo .

  Happy Sailing, oops flying !!! 

PS: I was inspired to challenge myself with Thursday Tales.

Who wears the pants- who????

Recently, my mom had the "hot" discussion with the maid.

The maid demanded she be paid for the days mom calls it a day off, as its not her sick leave but forced vacation day. While i try to hold my cell phone in place to make sure i heard the words right,

and if my mom really mentioned maid talking about vacation/sick leave. [Don't give me the inhuman crap, i am not going there, nor shall you]
Trust me, I almost had to maintain my posture so that i did not slip down my couch out of amazement. Ahh then i remember seeing this particular comic.

So, you see its not about who wears the pants in the house anymore these days.
I guess the indian version of who wears the saree would be more appropriate.
Don't believe me, follow the links.

Plead 1
Plead 2
Plead 3
And the list is endless. But, na samaj ko ek nahin toh teen ishare toh kafi hone chaiye  ;)

For your part of shock: Try googling william sisters in saree. [After all, everything comes with a price ;)]

PS: I would say i owe google for the Image courtesies but the direct links in the post shall do the rest. Peace (read pisss) out!!!
I shall discuss about this in my next post.

Shit happens

Its one of those times when you just don't get it! With my recent experience with the best shipping career service "Fedex" I am left with similar bewilderment. Now seeing at the above pic you think its a joke! But trust me shit happens and  this is for real. I am baffled at the following:

• First, I pay $18 for ground shipping just to our so called neighboring country, Canada ( Really??) You wouldn't consider a Canadian as international person, but hell ya if it is a parcel.
• Chalo, time is of essence so i paid it. But, it delivered back to my address and fun part is i don't see the shipment except a door tag that was left at my door.  Leave about that, are you telling me the great Fedex needed three freaking days to send the same shipment to original address? Wow!!! I didn't knew fairborn was that big a city!
• Next, endless waiting on 800-Fedex, i get to know i missed a custom's invoice, so my  question is how can I miss it when I have been to office for it. Ain't it  the attending  clerk's responsibility to make sure all documents were there? How do you expect me to know all the documentation for the shipping?

Amazing and they still haven't figured out where the shipment is. I guess it got wings somewhere in between.

you got to be a gujju

You got to be a gujju to understand

• why they feel proud of owning a business no matter they are  doctor, engineer by profession
• why they accumulate grocery bags for reuse
• why they got to have the longest conversation at the door while the guests are about to leave
• why every friend of mom is your masi or mama and every friend of your father is your kaka or foi
• why kids know their mama's place as the only summer vacation spot
• why they keep yelling on telephone while having conversation with someone in india
• why share index is read first thing in morning than newspaper
• why they have craving of papdi no lot (khichu) , specially in navratri
• why they emphasize inculcating hindu religion among their kids by saying jai shree krishna, jai ambe yet want their kids to study in convent/missionary schools 
• why theplas/bhakris are must haves on picnics
• why they got to have an extra freezer when they have a fridge
• why snacks are called snakes and phone as fone
• why they got to add sugar in every food item
• why you take extra taco sauces and ketchup packs  to store at home 

Because you are worth it!

This very year, of this very month, of this very day,
No matter how plagiarized, how redundant it may sound, I remembered you today.
But what if I say,
Your remembrance was worth my time and memory.
Would it then bring a smile and fill your heart with joy?
Well, I hope it does, for i could not figure a better way
of wishing you Happy Birthday!!!

shaadi ke ladoo

 To,
 My Dearest Newly Wedded Friends on FB,

Congratulations! Its a delight to see your wedding/engagement pics because

1. I can now see the real spouse instead of the strong brain storming sessions of who was the last one you dated.
2. Appreciate your guts of promoting your degradation from "once a master now a slave" role.

But i have hard time when your pics flood my news feed in the month of March. Isn't wedding season supoose to be in  nov-jan & may-jun?[atleast in my times it used to be ;)] Oh Ok, so i accept you wanna declare  are hooked but one pic is enough, isnt it?  I mean seriously, when will you actually use the free "Gmail-Picassa" account???  Or was it an attempt to make singles like me feel like looser and rubbing our asses(ab yehi baki reh gaya tha, gharwale kam the kya?). Since, I have been addicted to Pepsi, I am still convinced with its old slogan  "mere number bhi aayega" when i see such pics but the point here is it is way past the wedding season. So, will you get over that stupid game and on behalf of single's community on fb leave some space for other notifications? I know it sounds rude but I am writing here for a cause.

If you made this far,
I would appreciate you removing your pics,
Save FB,
-Singles Community