Not a bad poem, just not a traditional haiku. In addition to being three lines in length traditional haiku are (usually) restricted to 17 syllables in a 5-7-5 format. There are sometimes more restrictions as to subject matter and style, but most people (including me) don't pay them too much attention. Glad that you're giving haiku a try! Look forward to reading more :)
The usage of words is beautifully done. But I would suggest you to read as many examples of Haiku as you can. That will help you to hone your skills and magnify your imagination. I am doing the same these days. And would love to read more from you.
well, the form does restrict, but that restriction is what makes it challenging I think :) lovely thoughts, maybe you could have tried a set of two haikus than a long tercet :)
like TSW says, even my poetry skills arent that adept I guess :P
Not a bad poem, just not a traditional haiku. In addition to being three lines in length traditional haiku are (usually) restricted to 17 syllables in a 5-7-5 format. There are sometimes more restrictions as to subject matter and style, but most people (including me) don't pay them too much attention. Glad that you're giving haiku a try! Look forward to reading more :)
ReplyDelete@wordcoaster: Appreciate your feedback. Yes, i was so baffled with the amount of restrictions it has, will try to incoperate the changes next time.
ReplyDeleteI think its absolutely stunning, I believe sentiment outweighs mechanics any day
ReplyDelete@mindlovemisery: ahh, those lovely word. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteSweet. Beyond the restrictions of haiku, nedura. :)
ReplyDeleteThe usage of words is beautifully done.
ReplyDeleteBut I would suggest you to read as many examples of Haiku as you can. That will help you to hone your skills and magnify your imagination. I am doing the same these days. And would love to read more from you.
Take care. :)
@Richa: ;) I have no clue what Nedura means, enlightenment needed.
ReplyDelete@vinati: Work in progress, God Bless the souls who read it :P
I like the poem and the shot to illustrate it too.
ReplyDelete@carver: Thanks
ReplyDeleteBeautiful art.
ReplyDeleteI liked. I liked the images it brought to my head. And the illustration helped.. :-) Good work..!
ReplyDelete@zeba: :)would love to see you pen down the images you saw. Do you happen to know what nedura means? I am lost.
ReplyDeletewell my poetry skills sucks ....but i find it good. this looks good to me..:)
ReplyDelete@solitary writer: :), hope your nose stopped running and you get back to the love story II pretty soon.
ReplyDeleteperfect, brilliant piece.
ReplyDelete@jingle: :)
ReplyDeletewell, the form does restrict, but that restriction is what makes it challenging I think :) lovely thoughts, maybe you could have tried a set of two haikus than a long tercet :)
ReplyDeletelike TSW says, even my poetry skills arent that adept I guess :P
I love the photo that you chose to go with this one. The writing and the photo are both so magical.
ReplyDeleteI'm really not sure what "nedura" means. Could that person have meant "Neruda" as a reference to poet Pablo Neruda?
-Lola @ Buddhatropolis
@Leo: I will try to incorporate the changes next time for sure.
ReplyDelete@lola: Glad you liked it. I am thinking on the same lines of Neruda, but still can't see the relation here.
ReplyDeleteDishita,
ReplyDeleteTrue, Happily ever after is surely not short term infatuation.
Take care
@Jack: Sadly, people donot understand the difference.
ReplyDelete